Two different relationships, and they are not the same thing:
- Friends is mutual and needs approval. It is what unlocks direct messages.
- Following is one-way and immediate. It brings somebody's posts into your feed. No approval is needed, but they are told.
Why a message needs a friendship first. An inbox that anybody can write to is a spam surface, and on a platform about money it is a specific kind of spam surface: the unsolicited tip, the private group, the account that only ever messages beginners. Requiring both people to agree first costs one extra step and removes the whole category.
Following is the opposite trade on purpose. It needs no approval because it grants nothing: a follower can read what you chose to publish and cannot reach you privately. The two relationships exist separately so that reading somebody and being able to write to them are never the same decision.
17.1 Sending and answering requests
On the Friends page, the Add a friend box takes a username or an email address. Press Send request or just Enter. The other person gets a notification and must approve it.
Three tabs, each showing a live count:
- Friends
- Everyone who accepted. Each row has Follow, Message and Remove friend.
- Requests for you
- Approve or Decline. A red dot sits on this tab while something is waiting.
- Sent requests
- What you have sent and nobody has answered yet, with Withdraw.
You can send up to 25 friend requests a day. The limit is enforced on the server, and it exists so the box cannot be used to spray requests at everybody.
17.2 Following
Follow anyone by username, from the Friends page or from their profile. It takes effect immediately. Their posts then show up more in your feed, and you can turn on a per-person switch under My Profile → Following to be notified each time they publish.
17.3 Messages
Private conversations, one to one. You can only message people you are friends with — the + New picker lists your friends and nobody else.
The page is two panes: your conversations on the left with a search box and an Unread filter, the open conversation on the right.
- Writing
- Enter sends; Shift + Enter starts a new line. Basic formatting works — bold, italic, code and links.
- Freshness
- An open conversation refreshes every 20 seconds while you are on the page.
Only the two of you can ever see a conversation.